He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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