laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
