would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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