New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Pooping to opera.
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