fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
