Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
