wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
