My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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