Sponge bath it is.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
