He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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