i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
