So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
