But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
