So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
