So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
