did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
