We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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