and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
