Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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