yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
