Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
