she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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