According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
