at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
