I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
