This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
