oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You are a genius and a whore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
