i used baking grease as lip gloss
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
