The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
