She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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