i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
