I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
