Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
