she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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