I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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