and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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