Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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