Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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