I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
