The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
