We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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