Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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