I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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