i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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