We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
