Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
