Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
