I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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