Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
