I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
