i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
