Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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